Planning for a Wedding: TOP 3 Advices

It was the perfect day where the sky is in soft pastel hues and the bird is happily dancing behind the background. There is not a hint of storm or rain. You have been waiting for this day when...you knew it would somewhat comes along that he knelt on the ground, one hand holding yours while another one whisked out a..
...Ring...

It could a diamond or whatever that is sparkling there but does it matter?

He pops the question.

"Will you marry me?"

You thought he would never ask!

You absorbed the moment, trying to process the scenario. It does feel real. Should you accept that ring? Has he thought it through? What happens IF...? Naturally, many questions come into your mind. Being a woman, that's natural.

Almost in disbelief or in eagerness, you said "Yes."

The word somewhat escaped from your lips. You have wanted that to happen....perhaps, waiting for it to happen and when it does happen...you are at lost, not sure how would you react but finally, you've managed to take control of yourself again.

"Yes!"

As you raise your hand and hold out your engagement finger, you realized that he is just as nervous. Of course! Obviously, it is his very first proposal!

Both of you laugh over it for a couple of days and when you have finally come out of your excitement, the next wave comes: The Preparation for The wedding-Day.

What is so great yea? I don't know, honestly, but for good reasons (I believe) that many people hated the process of preparation for the wedding day and seemingly a lot of my friends fell into that trap. From the dress to the wedding venue, right down to their in-laws. Practically EVERTHING under the sun.

A wedding is supposed to be about the bride and groom and those invited to share their happiness. That's what I thought and hold up to. Unless you stand firm in your belief, you will soon joined the group of Bridezillas and THAT is not what I'm signing up for.

Here, I'm going to share how I managed my process and I hope, this can inspire would-be-brides to stay calm and enjoy the planning process as much as I did. Wedding can be manageable and not burn your piggy bank AND of course, not going to turn YOU into a Bridezilla. Brides...you have to be the brightest shinest star on that Beautiful day :)

1. Know what you want and have a Budget: IT IS ABOUT YOU
"It is not about you....it is about your family and in the end of the day, you would want their blessings too, right?"
That's a statement from my girlfriend. Not even a question.

I tell everyone that wedding is about you and your partner, not your family's friends.
The comment that I received? "That's your dream, not reality."

What happens in this part of the world is that your family takes part in every aspect of your wedding planning process because they would like to decide for you when to get married (auspicious day for the chinese *winkz ), who to invite (dad's cousin's wife's best friend), what type of food you serve, your wedding card's design, seating arrangement....and the list goes on forever.

Then again, how many requests can you fulfill? How many people can be made truly satisfied?
People have preferences and it is unique.
"I don't like your bouquet" "Your dress is too plain" "The food is not special" ....

Anyone asked, "What is your wedding style like?"

Yes, if you have a planner then perhaps, you will get that question much more often but the price of that is at least RM6000, as a base rate.

Not everyone is born with a silver spoon and a couple should never ever take a loan to pay for their wedding, no.matter.what. You may have a dream but is it worthy to torture yourself to a montly installment for your dream? I take a NO.

So, we set a realistic budget of what we want and I've politely (rather, bluntly) telling my family that it is my wedding and I am paying for it. I am (not) sorry that I can't afford extravagant wedding dinner and I cannot invite the entire village.

Honestly, I would be grateful and in bliss if the entire village celebrates with me but no. The other side of the story is that people tend to criticize and I'm not sure why. Be it the food...the ambience...people would find a reason to tell you that they did not enjoy your wedding day - they would make sure that their opinions reach you. Yes, you may ignore them (and you should) but one can't help to wonder why did they just spend so much to receive these in return. Criticism.

Yes, I made it a point to let my family knows what I think and why I choose to plan according to my wants and our (my fiance and I) affordability. Unfortunately, wedding is not everything and we still have a life after that and we really need our family to support our decision in this: don't make things difficult for us. 
That worked pretty well ^^ (It does if you are really the one who is footing the bill, NOT your parents).

Now, what do I want? A simple wedding dinner with my family and friends and to cater to various palate, I have decided on a buffet style dinner.

2. Always discuss with your fiance
Noticed that I've used I in the previous paragraph? *rolled eyes*
LOLs. Yea, wedding is a planning by the bride and groom together and many a time, I trust that the bride is very excited and have a lot of ideas on how she would like the day to be like.

But, to satisfied both sides - the bride would need to run through the list with the groom.

My groom has a diet preference and due to this, he is not too ready to agree with my buffet style dinner. Gosh, that is by far the most difficult part of the entire planning process. I hate diet restrictions and I hate traditional chinese wedding banquets.

Therefore, to take things step by step, we agreed to discuss and to try out a selected locations to check on the menus. Somewhat we managed to (both) agree on a venue.

3. Try as much not to get frustrated. Just plan even if it takes ONE 
Men. As I realized now, is a creature who don't multi-task.

Not all men are alike. Some perhaps manage this department better than the colony and is able to work together with the bride on a wedding planning but unfortunately my 'better' half is not one of those elites.

That is his weakness which I have to live with.

Therefore, brides....just stay calm and suck that in. It works better if you start to accept that flaw because some men do work this way -- I have to google, literally, the entire www to finally come to term with this fact. It seems that I am totally not alone and my sisters out there, YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this. If you are on the same boat, whine but at the same time, plan for the both of you.

Assign him some tasks and get him to realize that you are actually taking through trouble to get things done. He will definitely appreciate it - for one, he knows what was assigned to him and required his assistance; that will keep him focused and second, his guilt will kill him for making you unhappy (aha! Revenge).

Last but no least, make sure that you do follow-up to ensure that he completes the task.

This, does work for me. Trust me when I say that I was on the other extremity that I'm literally threatening him that I will call off the entire wedding if he doesn't prioritize the planning part. Yes, I WAS that frustrated because of many other factors. I did blame it to hormones but I believe hormones are only part of the culprit. I mean....women nowadays are too independent that we no longer see marriage as the next big thing. On the other hand, marriage (or kids) and the biggest lifestyle hindrance, therefore, to me -- it is a big commitment step to take....

If that's not the breaking point, then imagine, you now have to live and adapt to your partner and new family members. Not...easy...

 


NEXT: Wedding Check-List

Escape to Cape Town, South Africa 2015

I was very much looking forward to the weekend when I'll be spending it in Cape Town. For that few days, we stayed in the Victoria and Alfred hotel. It is a nice little hotel by the pier and I just love their breakfast spread. It serves made to order hot meals and a buffet bar. To top it up, it also serves wonderful fresh strawberry juice! You might be back tired from a day of work but you will find yourself looking forward to the next day's breakfast.

It has a spacious room (I just have to add: Stylish too!) and I must say very good hospitality as well. The hotel staffs were very courteous with the exception of the front office tour officer. That would really depends on who you speak with. We have decided to do the hop on/off bus on the first day and take a tour on the next day. 

So, we checked with the tour officer to see if he can help us arrange for something at a more reasonable price but he was not so helpful in the arrangement. On the other hand, another tour officer went through the hassle to help us check with the taxi driver to see if he is able to fetch us to several destinations of our choice at a better price. We have a total of 5 and we were also lucky to have a tourist couple who also wanted to do the same trip to share the transportation cost with us. So in view that we have a good number, the taxi driver finally agree to take us (on a return trip) to Cape of Good Hope, and Boulder's Beach for R250 per person. I supposed it can be quite difficult to haggle price in South of Africa when it comes to transportation but, anyhow, it is a worthy cost.   

Honestly, South Africa has an extremely beautiful skyline and I love taking sky shoots here. Needless to say, I did exactly that during my sight-seeing trip.

On Saturday, my colleagues and I did a hop on/off sightseeing bus tour and at R170 (day pass, Blue Mini Peninsular tour which also connects to the Purple tour where you can visit the winery). Due to the windy weather, we didn't manage to visit the Tabletop mountain but it is alright because we make the best out of the bus tour by first dropping by Kirstenbosch, followed by Groot Constantia and Mariner's Wharf in Hout's Bay.

We passed by this mural during the bus trip. My first impression? Pretty freaky at first sight but looking back at it, my second thought is that it's a pretty great mural art

The entrance fees at Kirstenbosch costs R50 and it is a great visit for family with young kids. I love the trails and the garden which allow your senses to explore different type of plants. I never know that some leafs would leave you with such sweet scents at just one touch. Really lovely scents and I was so tempted to hide a branch under my jacket (possibly 'import' them back to KL)...

Anyways, I supposed that's what ancient people used as a natural fragrance <3 font="">

No preservatives added, no alcohol and all naturale *thumbs up*

 

The musketeers...what queer synchronized march scouting for food

I love street photography and candid shots. I understand that I would have violated the privacy of some individuals and so, if you have came across this photo and would like it to be removed, please do let me know

That little toadstool

Yes, we should all take care of our own garbage

I did my first wine tour and cellar tasting at Groot Constantia for R25 (that's for cellar tasting of 3 type of wines of your choice; I'm sorry, I don't remember the cost for the tour but it's a good activity for first timers and wine amateurs). I wish I could describe my wines with a little more depth but to be entirely honest, I forgot everything shared by the person who gave us the tour...

Maybe it was because I was too soaked after Kirstenbosch? We were caught in a morning shower. I blamed myself for not wearing a wind jacket-- my cotton jacket was wet and water went into my shoes. The morning weather is pretty chilling and the wind can already freeze me to my bones. Therefore, the wines definitely help and perhaps due to that reason, I would happily forget about the details and let the wines took charge of my mind. 

After our visit to Groot Constantia, I'm a warmed lady. 

This little bug...so pretty! and definitely looks deadly..but of course, usually anything that looks ferocious might not be venomous

On the way to Hout's Bay

At the beach, I took some time alone to take in the view and collect some shells while my colleagues have their lunch. I had an interesting time watching life gets busy.

I must have looked vunerable. They came to ask for some money after I took their picture. I supposed I should give them something in return since I did take their photo without asking them first. So, that's what I did.

I just love this shot

And triple love this shot

The next best thing during the tour was to watch sunset on the bus.

The tour took us back to the Waterfront and by the time we reached, it was already dark. I was cold and hungry -- and I'm glad I made a good decision to have dinner at Mugg and Bean. NOT TO BE MISSED - for their hot chocolate and soup. I knew, if I have another chance to go to South Africa, I'll definitely return for its roasted tomato and basil soup.

Of course, a good meal is to be coupled with a good night's sleep to prepare ourselves for the next day to visit Boulder's Beach and Cape of Good Hope. It is pricey to do a car hire for the three of us and we were glad to have shared the coach with two other tourists. They are on a honeymoon and also wish to visit the same place. So, that sealed the deal - R250 for each person.

Again, another 'secret' that I discovered: the existance of South Africa penguins.
I always have my mind set that penguins only live on the poles where there are icebergs and snow.  Damn, I am so shallow.

The entrance fee to the park is R60

This lovely penguin is within arm's reach but no one in their right mind will try to disturb him

Ain't this cute? A penguin shaped rock!

Then, we ended our journey with Cape of Good Hope. The sights were amazing and there is really something here that if you widen your mind, you can find a lot of funny looking rocks:

The entrance fee is R110 per person and if you hired a car, you'd have to pay for him too. Well, there's no way that we can travel around without a driver, so that's a necessity and it is too bad anyhow since we are sharing the cost.

Another one; if you toss in some imaginations, you'd se a dinosour head peeping on you. A brachiosaurus?

I was told that if you are in luck, you could see border where two oceans meet and that borderline can be seen from the colors reflected from the sea. I wasn't that lucky though. All I see was grey and white...and blue.

We left in the evening and I felt a little heavy hearted. There are so many places that I have yet to roam, such as the intriguing alley/street and the jew's museum. Well, I guess it is always that little something that's left unfilled which makes you want to come back for more:)  I would considered myself to be lucky in this sense because it happened that I am able to spend my weekend in Cape Town, enjoying myself and explored the place a little.