Memories

A couple of years back, I mentioned that it would be good if memories can be erased. Memories are both a boon and a bane. For many reasons, it evokes strong emotions; be it positive or negative, at times, these emotions can be so empowering that you wish for once, those memories can be stored away forever and hidden in a corner (hmm...like stephen king's dreamcatcher?)

Even more so that in these recent years,I thought some memories are best be buried. I know it sounds like a person running away from reality but sometimes, it wouldn't hurt much to actually keep aside certain fragments of memories while you channel your focus onto other matters. It's either you are the one forgetting or the one being forgotten, truth have to be accepted that, you are no longer (if ever) holding a special position in that certain someone.

If ever TheSecret has got some truth to its so-proposed hypothesis, I guess my SE K770 was washed away (for good); ehem...and damn...now my SE K770i has got a problem with its card reader slot. It can't read my memory card and I'm now stuck with this fugly black magenta theme which has a rotating circle for its wallpaper. I am left with only 3 themes and I can't listen to songs at night...let alone take photo and store them into my memory card.

What an April...never mind...never mind...patience patience patience and everything will be fine. I'll get the emotions contained, the memory card slot fixed (check out my Nexus at the same time), the new job coming, the junks in my room sorted and ... yea ... be ready for a busy cough-free May! Haha...I can't believe it...the Almighty people up there suddenly has got so many activities planned for me in May and damn...I hope they arrange for some lucky parcels for me too (parcel filled with cash!!)

This Dance by Five For Fighting

I have been catching iton the radio every now and then and FINALLY am able to figure out what song and who sings it! WHOA...honestly..i super heart this song! It is just simple and beautiful :)
Okay..it's a reason enough for me to smile for the day..and let go of..certain things :))

Okay

That's what it is. Just a word and nothing else. Even if your heart tells you that there is...and probably the heart is right..which I think it actually is...but it can't be helped can it?

Well, the brain is always right even though the heart may not always be, so since I have done what I should...I guess...and that's it. A hand can't clap on its own...if you think the other person is worth your effort, that person will be the reason of your effort but if you are not; then it's just too bad. You may be at the right place but if (definitely) the wrong time, then oh well ~
Am picking up the pieces and I'm sure I'll be able to locate all the pieces and do fine.
(Liv): not too sure of the believing part anymore. I thought I believed but sometimes, the brain seriously works too logical for beliefs. Then again, all is good. I'm more sure now that someone just has to prove me wrong.

Anyways, was walking down the corridor a while ago and there was this stranger walking from the opposite direction. Almost as if the Unseen knows about what happened, this guy went past and smile. He said, "Be happy."
(Well, I don't remember myself putting up the puppy face or the sourish look -- so obvious that a complete unknown by passer would notice?)

I was surprised. Ever more that he's a stranger; which you would expect him to say,"Hi" or "How are you" or maybe "Good day."
LOL...anyways, that does made my day. It really do...just a simple 'be happy'. Honestly..if you mean something to someone, that person will come around. If he doesn't then, you know. Your weight is just ain't that much. So, ' be happy ' is it does happen and ' be happy ' too if it doesn't because there is always a better tomorrow.
And thank you friends. You guys are right here when I needed a support. I mean, hey, you guys have always been around!
These Thanks go to several people..thanks for the herbal candy, thanks for the chocs, thanks for the motivations, thanks for the presence, thanks for the concerns, thanks for the kind contagious smiles...
just Thanks...to all of you guys who care enough to offer a fraction of your time to this bunny here...
:)

Sheryl Crow - The First Cut Is The Deepest

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I have
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll try to love again (try)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again)
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest
When it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst

The first cut is the deepest baby i know
The first cut is the deepest try to love again...

***

When words are lost, songs can pretty much sum it all up for you
Sometimes it kinda sucks to be cursed
Ahh..oh well, I guess I just need another break..and I'll be bouncing again :)

Need you now...

Need You Now lyrics found at elyricsworld.com

Faith

There's rainbow even in the darkest sky..



Photo courtesy of jy:)

...Nightmare...

Nightmare.

How long ago or how recent have you had a night that leave your heart beating like if you have run in a 4x400m (during Sports Day) and have cold sweats trailing down your face?

A dream so real and yet a dream? A nocturnal activity which your brain dwells into every now and then...we always dream. Yes...as short as 5 minutes to god knows...probably you will not wake up from the dream!

Ooooh...sounds like Freddy has visited you huh?

Haha...anyways, not that bad huh, I mean, as long as you are in control of your dream; waking up is not much of a necessity.

I don't usually have nightmares but there was this one that had etched itself in my mind because I supposed I dreamed about it on a few occasions. It is not scary as per se. Nothing was chasing after me nor did I feel threatened. Honestly, I'd prefer if there was an object that comes after me -- at least I know that there's something physical there and I know where to dodge and hide. (and possibly come up with a counter attack...sweet!)



In this peculiar dream, there was nothing. I was in my high school and I remember myself walking up the staircase. It is a short building of 4 storeys with my classroom located on the topmost floor. The ambience was eerie because of the chill in the air. The air was still...there's only silence and the echoes of your shoes (especially so when I used to be a prefect and wear this leather shoes with short heels).

I know that my school has only 4 storeys but from the back of my head, something tells me that there is a fifth floor and I wanted to get to that red door. Well, in reality, the fifth floor is actually the top balcony where the water tanks are.

So, in my dream, I was making my way up...and up towards the fifth floor and things start to get eerie with this nursery rhyme started to play in the background:

I still have the chills whenever I listen to that nursery rhyme. Honestly, I don't remember myself watching much reruns of the Nightmare on Elm's Street (NOES) because it really really gave me the creeps and I super hate it (because it was the only..ONLY horror movie that frightens me). In fact, as much as I am spooked by Hellraiser, I do not mind watching its reruns but just not NOES. Just...not NOES....

Then again, that was so long time ago...who knows..now NOES no longer scares me? Hehe...come on, try me...I will show you that NOES doesn't scare me any more XP

Anyways, back to the dream, whenever that rhyme was in the background, it got my heart beat so badly that I woke from the dream. Phew...glad to be awake, seriously! I supposed, what makes a nightmare so memorable and chilling is not what came for you in the dream...but the feeling that IT gave you in the dream...

Now my dear readers...take a minute...close your eyes...and relax.....
Let the feeling of fear embrace your peace...
Do you remember how it is like to be really...really afraid?
Was it the dark that scares you? Or was it some fanged creature with bloodshot eyes? Maybe some invisible force?
There you go...the feeling of being afraid...being really fearful that your nightmare would consume you alive...

Ouh...did you hear that distant and faint sound? tok... tok.... tok...

Hehe.......
Spooked? Oh well, it's intended.
G'day you :)

insane/sane

Insanity and sanity is like the two sides of a coin and they are only different by a thin borderline. How wonderful is it of a brain, weighing as little as 1.5kg but possesses over a billion neurons controlling every freaking activity of the whole body...

Shutter Island came as a dramatic period movie (yea..the soundtrack has been really dramatic). It has a twist but it is not exactly that impressive...then again it gave the viewers a philosophical question to ponder over during one's leisure time: "Would you rather die a monster or die a good man?" (I don't remember the exact phrase but it's more less that way)

Well, what would be the definition of monster and in what context in the word applied to? That, it lies in how the individuals perceive the message.

Just as how you would perceive Alice in her Wonderland. Is she mad for being a confused and delusive child? Or is she merely a child full of imaginations? (Love the 2010 Tim Burton's version of Alice in Wonderland...hehe...and somehow, it made me itching to read the books: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass)

Devilish-ly adorable

K: This is a devil. (Pointed at the page where the cartoon is called mini monster)
J: That's a m-i-n-i m-o-n-s-t-e-r
K: No. It's a devil. Look. This is its horn (Pointed at the metal horn)
J: Okay. It's a devil. (Focus on another kid)
K: What is the color of devil?
J: Any color you like. Blue, green, purple...the important step would be color toning.
K: Okay. What color then?
J: (sighs) Red.
K: Why red?
J: (Thinks) It is usually red.
K: Why red?
J: It represents fire.
K: Why it represents fire?
J: Devil is always to be portrayed to be emerging from the ground.
K: Then why red?
J: (Thought to herself: Central of earth consists of molten minerals and it is extremely hot. Usually this liquid would be ejected from earth in the form of magma and they are red in color. Probably because of that, devils are usually red. It symbolizes blood anyways...so they are either black or red) Well, you can chose other colors if you like.
K: (Takes a red oil pastel and started to color.)

10 minutes later...
K: Do you have a facebook? (8 years old)
D: No, I don't. (11 years old)
K: OK.
D: But my mom has one.

***

H: (Drawing stickman) I slept at 2am last night. I'm tired.
J: What you did?
H: I was watching my dad working.
J: Did you help?
H: Yes.
J: What did you help in?
H: Helped with my hands.
J: (silence) Ok.
H: I helped him click. He tells me what he wanted and I clicked.
J: OK. Come, try to draw properly.
H: How to draw?
J: Like this.
H: How you know?
J: (silence) I know.
H: I know.

J: What you know?
H: I know everything.
J: How you know everything?
H: I have CCTV in your house. (pause) In everyone's house.
J: What can you see in the CCTV?
H: I can see everything.
J: What you mean everything?
H: Everything. (pause) Except the bathroom (7 years old)
J: (swt) Why?
H: I'll be able to see people bathing.
J: (swt and silence)

***

Sometimes, when you are unhappy, children can easily put a smile on your face.
:)
I especially love HS, CO and SO. HS can be a devil but he is just so lovable especially when:
H: My sister loves sand art. She always ask me to buy for her. And I'll buy for her.
C: Do you have money?
H: Yes I have a lot.

And the hug I reminisced most was from Q and S. They are the sweetest and most generous with their hugs...just at the time when I needed most...from the untainted souls.

p/s: They memorize Justin Bieber's Baby by heart :)

:((

:(

T__T

;(

:'[

>;__;<

the Sun, the Moon and the Stars

Sun; the important bright fiery burning star in the center of the solar system. Can you imagine a day without the warmth of the Sun? Unless you are living in the South pole...then I don't think you can ever imagine such a scenario. The world will be icy cold, the plants would wilt and depression would strike the heart of mankind. At times, the sun can be pretty unforgiving..and days without sun will immediately transform the world into a vast south pole.

Moon; gentle and calm and complementary to the sun. The moon, plays a lesser role than the sun but nonetheless as important. Without the moon, there will not be any tidal effects nor eclipses. In the time of total darkness, it is the moon and stars that illuminate the space. Somehow, I always feel that the moon is shrouded with mystery...so much that it makes it a beautiful nocturnal object.

Both Sun and Moon are important with the Sun assuming the major role. Indeed, yes. But the sun can be so temperamental at times that it causes drought and other complications to mankind. It brings them life and at the same time, it can take them away.
Moon on the other hand, calm and cool, to the extent that you would take it as the icy guardian. The one who doesn't bother much if you are living or dying.

Sighs..you can't live without the sun and yet sometimes you can't live with the sun. You enjoy the moon and yet its iciness is so chilling at times that you wish you could melt the icicles away. I'm blessed with both but I'm wondering why women can be such a biatch at times. She is being given a sun...reliable and never lets her down (to a certain extent). Yet she choose the moon. Icy and cool and she thought it is a good break from the fiery atmosphere of the sun. However, after much chilling, she misses the sun. Then again, she doesn't want to lose the moon. She wanted to give the moon an equal chance to prove its worth.

Geez, at times, she does wonder...since sun and moon is seemingly not the better choice...why doesn't she let go of both?

And reach for the stars.

Maybe she really should. Now, would you prefer to go with the sun or the moon? Or you'd rather giving up on both and go on a star hunt? Or...best of all, just stay put and enjoy the day and don't give a damn about the Solar System?

I guess the third one sounds really attractive :)
Okay, I'll suggest to her.

Thank You

This is written in gratitude to all who has contributed. Your contributions have been put to good use in groceries purchase and with that, you have gave them Hope to continue braving through each day.

THANK YOU

Children, innocent as they are, they have been abandoned to this house; a place where they call home. They are no different from any other child -- albeit the lack of a biological family.

On the day when I visited them, a family had celebrated the birthday of their son together with this kids. All of them danced and I saw one who is so talented at his age that I thought that if he is given the chance to nurture that talent, he would be a very good breakdancer.

But of course, anyone if given the chance and be groomed under an appropriate environment, will be able excel (unless the person themselves do not appreciate the given opportunity).

Anyways, I would consider these children as fortunate to have found a home in this house because I came to understand that most of the children are born into a family which would be better off dead.

Yes, some of these orphans do have living family members, however, they are better off without them. Who would need an abusive parent? A parent(s) who can't afford to love them -- let alone feed.

I adopt a neutral perspective in neither being a pro-life or anti-life but in most of such cases, I would comment that if you know full well that you can't provide a fair and supportive environment to the soon-to-be born child, abort it. They can at least find a better after-life.

Why do parent(s) who are not even capable of taking care of themselves would wish to try taking care of a newborn? It'd be miraculous if they can survive their childhood unscathed under the care of immature parent(s).

Look, this place (a new home which started last year) alone houses 38 children and god knows how the number will rise up to in the next couple of weeks/months. And that's only one place. How about other homes which are unheard of?

It was so happened that I saw on FB that this home is appealing for donations in kind, else, I wouldn't have come across this place (i'd would say that i'll be totally ignorant of the place since it is located so far away from Cheras).
(Again here, I'd like to express my disappointments to those who happily teasing away when I told them that I'll spend my weekend morning driving all the way to provide some groceries to an orphanage. Here is my message to these people: loud and bold, strong and clear; they do not beg (literally) for your donations, they are only hoping that you would be kind enough to share, and i damn know that i am not wealthy enough to share much nor i have such a big heart to be a such a samaritan but hey, I could forgo my little spending to share a tiny piece of my heart with those who could really use some food to warm themselves up.

I have enough to eat and spend and I have a warm bed to sleep in every night. so yes, i can afford a small amount for them and to rub some salt into you: i do not lust for those brands and live with debts every month. Honestly, beauty and materials go only as far as it is limited. Thank you, now go bark elsewhere)

For those who would like to find out what's more required by the home, please visit:

http://csrprojects.blogspot.com/

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?v=feed&story_fbid=10150167818665107&id=860920106#!/note.php?note_id=153000608389