the grey moment

The complexity of the moment,

The insanity of your actions,

Who understands them better than the preyed and the innocent?

This life came from you and so rightfully taken away without my permission...

Indebted, I am but this is my life and I'm the owner,

I'm on loan but I don't repay at my expenses for your entertainment,

Shame on you that you stained my childhood and made me a goner,

Oh, you are so proud of your artwork; my past was well shaped in a messy entanglement...

The damage is done,

The stone was carved and nothing can mend the flaws,

The damage was fun,

You enjoyed every bit of destroying my path; you left me nowhere to run...

That was a story I heard recently. It was awfully familiar. I hope my friend could overcome this period. Parents can be great guardian angels but it's very unfortunate that not all parents are reliable. Parents are like babies, they are god-sent and no one gets to chose whose family to be born into, so, instead of growing up with hatred and despair, try acceptance and ignorance. If they don't do good to yourself, you do good on yourself. No one gives a damn shyte if you ended up a loser, seriously.

Sometimes I do hope that he gets this part of life. His life is somewhat straight forward and whole but nothing is just black and white. This...is Grey. Hers is grey.

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Productivity

As my usual quote went, I was (trying to be) productive until procrastination took over. Well, I was actually looking for a gift idea and using the multiple tabs...I somehow got distracted into - Home Making. First, I went to Scrap of Life and I wondered to myself, it had been so long since I last baked anything! I miss messing in the kitchen and also, I miss my paint and brushes. I drew a Tazmania lately on a cup sleeve as a part of a gift to Gecko and bhoy, how I miss holding my pen and drawing onto something.

Then next, I fell in love with this room design found on Parlour's page . Classy and not too gothic. I start to imagine the kind of art I want my house to be infused in. Yes, art is the keyword. I am dead tired and bored with the normal cozy plain interior. I need some art back in my life. I know, I actually belong to the other side of the world where art is much more appreciated and I Should do something with art. I USED to imagine myself as a designer...until I gave up before trying. I guess I don't want to be strangled by something I love. That's why I entered Science...which is not too bad, actually. 

Well, by far, it is not too bad yet - though I am not making as much money as I should as compared to friends of my age.

Hm...negative aura aside, let's have some laugh.

...I really try my very best not to think negative thoughts. I need all those strength to complete my project and hunt for a decent job.

AZA

In order to satisfy my craving for some cakes, I went to King's confectionery; though there are other confectionery around but the cakes aren't really that good. I mean, yea, Venice bakery sells superb Hokkaido cake - better than that of RT Pastry's, but other than that, the cakes/breads are just...OK. Then again, I don't have a choice unless I walk across the road to Secret Recipe and that itself it quite far under this sunny weather; let alone driving down to Jusco's Subway for a proper sandwich.

I don't know about the King's at other location but trust me, I have half of the marble cake and it was left untouched beside me right now. I am still thinking if I should chuck it into the bin (it's rightful place) but it will be such a waste! The cake is really oily and probably it's just me - I realized that I was picking on the chocolate part of the cake until there was none of that left...and now it's just sitting there...10cm from my laptop....

The morning had been so uneventful. I hope this process will be my last after this final (fingers crossed) set of time-point harvesting and I definitely pray (*double fingers crossed*) that my array scan will turn out to be good. Damn...I don't want to waste any grant money more than I should and I want to get my results asap. Y'know, I was quite motivated by my friend who told me that after gaining some laboratory experience, she would want to go back to the hospital for a job - because she loves the place. That's really motivating to hear about people's passion and what they did to keep their dream alive. My dream is still alive now and if I could, I would love to prolong its life expectancy. Watching it grow old is not too bad an idea but it is not likely to be feasible.

Well, that can be changed though. I attended an awesome and grand wedding recently and after meeting up my old school friends -  I realized that my dream has to be transformed in order to for it to survive till old age. Transformation may be difficult but it definitely worth the fight.

Speaking of which, yes, that wedding which I had just mentioned was totally very grand (imagine; specially hired singers flown all the way from another country and a famous emcee as well as a different-from-the-rest venue) but I supposed it has to be as it is also a part of a corporate event. I guess this is what you to when you are a successful businessman. Every movements/actions and thoughts are to be thoroughly planned and executed. I was just thinking that if I do get the chance to be married, I would want to throw a cozy wedding party for my close friends and family. A party to be set in a garden with no mosquitoes and the bride, groom, best men and bridemaids will all waltz in...and the dinner will be served together with free flow of red wines...and of course live band too..something like this:

Lots of candles..lights and FLOWERS!