spoiler: an article full of myself...it's nothing interesting

Honestly, a couple of hours ago, I truly wanted to just immerse myself in the water and drift. But the Weather knows better.

It rained. I was at Rothman's roundabout and I thought yea...I should make a turn and go home instead. Prolly do some spring clean and set aside the clothes and stuff which I wanted to donate. The best part of it was that the road was being very smooth albeit some minor congestion at Loke Yew.

I didn't mind that anyways since my mind was elsewhere.

I guess it's the holiday mood that had kicked in. Or my emo-ness that has yet to pass. Or was it the voice I heard on the phone. Haha...I didn't know which.

I drove pretty absent-mindedly (but safe...lady driver but yea, I drive safely) and forgotten to pay my bills -- which I planned to do on my way back. Thus, I make my way out again after I drop my stuff at home and get into something comfortable.

There are things on my mind and honestly, I felt like doing something. Whether to type my thoughts out (and stupidly be read like an open book by the world--something which I have been enjoying for the past few years as I realized, what I wrote and made online may actually entertain and somewhat 'help' my readers. Haha...I don't know, I just have that feeling), or play my violin (not so feasible...as I don't not want to bring the dead up)...or sleep (hmm..nah..i'm sleepy..but nah...)...or paint ( ^__^ oVo but i've got no inspiration at the 'mo)...

Then it suddenly pops up in my mind...I want to go online and people watching at some quiet place with a good ambience. Places like that are pretty limited really but I managed to find one (not posting it here because I don't want to ruin the peacefulness of this place...LOL...but sometimes it can get quite crowded here too. anyways, it ain't that difficult to guess).

Sighs...sad to say, I don't really spend especially when I'm feeling tight but heck, I'll just find an excuse to reward myself just for this night: I've paid my bills in full :))
The latte here is pretty sucky seriously..they allowed it to oxidized too much and the milk is not aerated enough. Then again, they play a really good jazz CD tonight. So, yea, the coffee is bad, the songs are good..so it's okay.

I got lucky that there wasn't many people here tonight. There was only this korean pair studying and they were doing arithmetric. Cute couples they are! When you are young and in love, things are just so sweet. It's just too bad that things get a little complicated when people get older. Something as pure as just loving someone doesn't seems to be enough anymore, huh? A lot of factors come into the picture...complicated yea but it is fun nonetheless.

• the fun of trying not to be too kiddy sometimes (which somehow if you did, it became cute but if you guys don't share the same feelings, then it becomes annoying)...
• the fun of trying to guess what the other person is thinking (which is so damn frustrating because I'm lousy at guessing and I think a little too much)...
• the fun of learning to trust (when you think too much)...
• the fun of trying to recognize if that is the person who worths your time and effort to care for...
• the fun of trying to sort out your emotions (one heck of an annoying thing too because everything is a messy mix-up..sometimes it got so intense that you lose control over them)...
• the fun of trying to heal yourself and be okay (when you realize that love is ain't enough and the puzzle pieces are missing...oh well...in this case, you have just got to be strong...you may love like there's no tomorrow and cry till heaven falls apart but when it is enough...it is enough...really...I always tell those who share their experiences with me that if other people is able to do it...you are able too. I mean..I am able to...it ain't hard..there is always a tomorrow even after 2012)...
• the fun of trying not to be stupid, appear stupid or act stupid (but it doesn't really matter if it's genuine...rite?like if the other person complains/criticize-excessively-at-a-non-constructive-point so much about you true self...then it's a wake up call that probably you guys aren't meant to be together)...
• the fun of trying not to freak-out another person by being too protective, possessive or inquisitive (all about trust again and again)
  

okay...so, it is fun...i used to ask for so much space and suddenly now that I have ample of it...it is comfortably weird (or weirdly comfortable...it just sounds right whichever way you put it). Guess am now sharing S.A's sentiments. ehem...not a good sign...LOL...
Geez..this is just so funny. Suddenly I do not know what to do or what to expect.
And I got so caught up in this whole new set of emotions ever so suddenly that I felt so at lost. Because it made me stupid once again. It made me so much wanted to see/felt a presence (suprise me, you? then again...I think not...bleh...suprises like that only happen once in a very blue moon. It happened once last year...so I don't think it will happen again...at least not this soon) that I try to ignore it. I guess it is just a Leo thing. Yea...Leo...they want to be independent and being helpless over their own emotions is the last ever thing which they will do.

Argh...I thought writing would make me think things through and relax...heck now I felt the total opposite. (Okay Liv..will write to you when I'm ready to okaiz :) )...Alright...I guess I should just stop and read something...enjoy the stale coffee and then go home to bed...and ignore the whole thing...tomorrow is going to be a new day :)


:(